


I love the ghosts of you

by oswinious



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Wholesome Who Halloween Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:47:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27305086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswinious/pseuds/oswinious
Summary: This work is based on my Wholesome Who Halloween prompt, ghosts.
Relationships: The Doctor/Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	I love the ghosts of you

Celebrating any holiday on the TARDIS was no ordinary feat, especially as it was difficult to figure out _when_ they were. The fam needed a bit of normalcy in-between adventures, though, so the Doctor made sure she was keeping track of their own temporal flow, as their perception of it was often disrupted by the restlessness of their life onboard the ship. 

When October 31st came, the Doctor called her companion to the control room. She was sporting a tiger onesie over her usual attire.

“Hiya fam! Guess what day it is?”

They looked at each other, and then back at her, completely clueless as to what she was referring to. Ryan and Yaz shrugged.

“No idea, Doc,” Graham said.

She leaped towards them. “It’s Halloween! Ho! Ho! Ho!” She scrunched her nose. “Wait. No. Wrong holiday,” she took a deep breath and started walking funny. “Boo!”

“Oh! Can we watch a horror film?” Ryan suggested. Halloween was his favourite day of the year, and he certainly intended on making the most of it, even if so-called days were usually a useless concept on the TARDIS.

“All right,” the Doctor said. “Love a good horror film, me,” she added unconvincingly.

The four of them were all sat on the purple couch in one of the lounge rooms of the ship. They had opted for a ghost movie the Doctor couldn’t remember the name of – she was sat on that couch to spend time with her fam and definitely _not_ to enjoy the movie.

Once the movie was over, the boys headed to bed. Ryan claimed he was going to sleep like a baby, while his grandad walked out asking the TARDIS to optimize his room so he wouldn’t have nightmares for a week. 

“Do you believe in ghosts, Doctor?” Yaz asked once they were alone in the room.

“Depends on what you consider to be a ghost, Yaz.” The younger woman cocked her head, inviting her friend to be clearer. “I don’t believe in your 21st century earthling view of ghosts, no. The ghosts like the ones in that film don’t exist. They’re only but a mere representation attempt of what ghosts actually are.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is—,” she was trying to make sense of her thoughts. “Ghosts don’t haunt you in mansions or in abandoned villages, Yaz. They’re not about jump scares, creepy music and whatnot. Ghosts haunt the deepest parts of your soul. They are with you in every waking moment, but also every time you dare to close your eyes.”

Yaz looked at the Doctor, _her_ Doctor. Her mind was running a thousand miles per hour, trying to comprehend the weight of the words she was hearing. She had hoped for answers about the Time Lord for so long. Here they were.

“Some ghosts are scary because they remind you of how you wronged them. Others, because they remind you of who you used to be. They held a part of you, and they still do once they’re gone. They took who you were with them, and you can never get it back. You’ll never be that person again, and their haunting is a constant reminder of it.”

“But you can be better, though. Learn from them,” Yaz dared to say.

“Yes. Yes, you can,” the Doctor answered, a soft but pained smile on her face. “But then, what happens when the entirety of the universe isn’t enough to contain your ghosts? How can you _really_ be better?”

“By embracing them. Embracing them for who they were, who _you_ were. But also, embracing them for who you are now,” Yaz said, placing a reassuring hand on the Doctor’s arm. “Being haunted doesn’t need to be about suffering. Ghosts can also be a reminder to always strive for more; to be better.”

The Doctor looked at Yaz’s hand on her arm and dared to hold it with her own. Her ghosts would always be with her. In her hearts, in the adventures she embarked on, everywhere in the space and time continuum. They would always be there, in the wondering and wandering eyes of her fam.

In Graham, she saw all those who found comfort in their adventures around the universe. Those who felt like they were finally given a second chance at life.

In Ryan, she saw the wit and curiosity of those who knew how to challenge her and push her to reflect on her own actions.

In Yaz, she saw all the love she was never allowed to feel; a love made of shattered hopes and longing stares. But she also saw in her eyes a will to live that transcended all pain and fear. Yaz’s eyes were a testament of survival. She, too, was haunted by her own ghosts.

And here she was, showing the Doctor in countless ways that these ghosts were a necessary evil. Her mere presence on the TARDIS, day after day, was proof that strength could stem from these hauntings.

The Doctor realized that ghosts were never about fear or regrets. “I can’t keep running away from them. I need to carry these ghosts with me, accept them as a part of me so I can grow,” she said, matter-of-factly.

The younger woman smiled. “I love the ghosts of you,” Yaz added, squeezing her friend’s hand.


End file.
